Just a mere few days after slagging iPhone-queuing losers, I've been re-acquainted with my own techno-lust:

Yep, I'm still lusting over a USD$100,000 fully electric car. Still, while I would shell out for one, I wouldn't queue for it ;)

I think the kids could fit in the boot and my servants could bring my surfboards.

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It's a phone for fucks sake.

You type numbers into it and it rings people.

Hardly revolutionary technology.

I hereby declare anyone who lined up for an iPhone to be the "Arseclown of the Month of June", every single last one of you. With any luck the iPhone has sterilising properties preventing any of you breeding, vastly improving our gene pool.

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So, kfish is in Japan, working for a renowned university. Right? I will present evidence, dear esteemed members of the jury, that kfish is swanning around with buxom blonde wenches who shade his delicate dome and is in fact riding motorbikes for Ducati!

Exhibit A:

The defense council will try and convince you that this is in fact a photo of Ducati rider, Gianluca Nannelli, that I ripped from a magazine while awaiting surgery. Do not fall for their attempts to confuse you and just let the photo do the talking.

Is this or is this not kfish? Answers here.

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The ligament was re-attached to my finger bone this morning and I'm now sitting at home with a cast up to my elbow. My right arm will be in some variety of this state for three months. This means:

- one handed typing (I'm right now cursing my complex passwords)

- only one hand for arse-slapping during sex

- No driving my car

- No riding my motorbike

As my motorbike is how I reach my clients, earning an income is going to be more challenging than rehab.

I've not had surgery or been under a general anesthetic since I was five. As someone who's stayed clear of amphetamines, I really, really, enjoyed going under. I just wish the come-on could have been drawn out a little more, rather than the "ooooh that feels nice hey look my arm is magically in plaster" experience that I had ;)

I'd tick the box and pay extra for that.

It was interesting to have the surgeon meet you pre-op, ask which finger it was then mark it with a big red permanent marker arrow and the words "this one"
;)

As I type this though, the local anesthetic in my hand is wearing of f and man, there's a sting in my finger.

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"In a time of almost vanilla everything, the stirrer spoon should go to anyone willing to put their head above the trench parapet of life and be stupid enough to go over the top. We are so humdrum in our lives. It is unfortunate that in our quest for consumption we have completely forgotten the concept of taste and proportion."

 Unfortunately there was no attribution to this quote (perhaps he/she were afraid to put their head above the trench parapet?). We are the most passive population in the world and this is not to our benefit.

Anyone care to join me going over the parapet? 

Speaking of consumption ;) I picked up Josh Pike's new album "Memories and Dust" the other day and I'm enjoying thoroughly. There's a few good gems on this album.

On Saturday, whilst playing football for my local aussie rules club, I had the good fortune to disconnect the tendon on my right-hand ring finger from said finger while tackling an opponent.

This has resulted in a finger that a) I can no longer control, b) has a habit of getting caught on things and c) makes riding my motorbike really, really challenging. These tendons have a habit of disappearing as far back as the shoulder but it appears mine is still in my hand.

Surgery: Thursday.

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While watching scooch represent the UK in last nights Eurovision song contest, I had an epiphany wherein I realised what I love most about the Eurovision song contest - Australia isn't in it.

I doubt I could find as much humour in Eurovision as I currently do if I had the trauma of watching some hideously cliched act represent Australia.

I want you all to close your eyes for a moment and imagine what an Australian act in Eurovision would look like. Once you've done that, I want you to go one step further and imagine what it would look like if we actually hosted it.

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Sunday 3rd June 2007 Save Anvil Hill - Save our climate from coal

If we are going to stop dangerous climate change then we need to stop the expansion of the export coal industry. Anvil Hill is where we will draw a line in the sand.

Centennial Coal wants to build a massive new coal mine in the remnant forest of the Upper Hunter.

Come to Anvil Hill on June 3rd, learn more about the issue and send a message to politicians and the coal industry that enough is enough.

Enough of huge coal mines that destroy the Hunter Valley and fuel
climate change. Enough of putting coal industry profits ahead of our future.

What will we do at Anvil Hill?
We will form a giant human sign that reads 'Save Anvil Hill' on Sunday 3rd June at midday. Please wear a blue shirt and bring blue ribbons or other blue things. Activities and entertainment are planned for Saturday and Sunday, with free camping on Saturday night.

Festival atmosphere
The weekend will be fun and family friendly. There will be music, films, great cheap food (including vegetarian) and fun kids activities. There will be tours of the Anvil Hill site on Saturday and workshops on Anvil Hill, climate change and renewable energy.

When should I get there? You can come anytime after midday on Saturday and camp on a private property right next door to the mine site.

There will be toilets and cooking facilities provided. You can also stay in Denman, which is only 10 minutes away. It has a motel and hotels. Or you can come up on Sunday the 3rd for the day. We will form the human sign at midday.

How do I get there?
You can either drive (less than 4 hours from Sydney), or be at Town Hall at 7am on Sunday where buses will take people to the site.

If you are coming please RSVP to:
Save Anvil Hill Alliance
ben.pearson@au.greenpeace.org or 0407 008 917

(Indicate which day you will come and if you will camp. If coming on Sunday please let us know if you will get there yourself or want a seat on the buses we will provide.)

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IDN23900
TOP PRIORITY FOR IMMEDIATE BROADCAST
NSW TSUNAMI WARNING
Australian Government Bureau of Meteorology
New South Wales
Issued at 0818 on Monday the 2nd of April 2007

For people in coastal areas of New South Wales, Lord Howe Island and Norfolk
Island.

An earthquake of preliminary magnitude 8.1 occurred at 06:40 am EST this morning near the Solomon Islands, [epicentre 8.6S, 157.2E] and may have generated a tsunami.

At the time of this warning it is not known if a Tsunami was generated. This
warning is based only on an evaluation of the earthquake's potential to generate a Tsunami.

A series of waves associated with this tsunami may impact Australia later this
morning, reaching Norfolk Island from around 12:08 pm [Norfolk Island time],
Lord Howe Island from around 11:16 am [Lord Howe Island time] and the NSW
coastline between 11:00 am and midday.

Dangerous waves and currents may affect beaches, harbours and rivers for several hours from the time of impact and low-lying coastal areas could be flooded. The waves can be separated in time by between ten to sixty minutes and the first wave of the series may not be the largest.

The NSW State Emergency Service advises that:
· People at the beach should leave the beach, and any areas exposed to surf, and move to higher ground.
· People in boats in shallow water should immediately return to land, secure
vessels and move to higher ground.
· Boats and ships at sea should move to deep water and not return to harbour
until advised that it is safe to do so.
· If you see the sea go out like a very low tide then immediately go to high ground.
· People should keep listening to the local media for updated information and
advice and follow instructions and advice from emergency services

This warning will be updated by 11:00 am.

This warning is also available through TV and Radio broadcasts; the Bureau's
website at www.bom.gov.au or call 1300 659 218

The Bureau and NSW State Emergency Service would appreciate this warning being broadcast regularly.

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